A Very Uncomfortable Christmas
by destrxya
Summary: It's Frank's first time meeting Gerard's family and... let's just say that fancy Christmas dinner parties aren't necessarily his forte.


"Frank.." Gerard called, attempting to wake the other man up without putting him in a bad mood first thing in the morning. "It's time to wake up; we can't be late to my parents' Christmas party."

Frank's eyes shot open the minute he heard the words "Christmas party". He and Gerard had been going out for several months now, and this was going to be the first time he met Gerard's parents. He knew he had to make a good impression, but this was usually hard for him, honestly. He was already in a terrible mood, although he couldn't tell whether it was from being woken up so early or if it was caused by pure nervousness. Sweaty and disheveled, he pulled his upper half into a sitting position and relaxed with his feet dangling off of their creaky bed. He wiped his eyes and dragged his body out of bed, forgetting how to walk for a moment and nearly falling over. Frank let out a small yawn and stretched his arms out, making his way tiredly to the closet to pick out some clothes. He originally had pulled out a Hawaiian shirt and some khakis, but Gerard turned those down and helped him choose something more fitting for the occasion. When they were finished, Frank was wearing a burgundy dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of dark pants. Initially, he had grabbed a pair of Gerard's pants on accident and only realized his mistake when his legs were about 3 inches too short to actually fit in them. He took very little time in "fixing" his hair and plopped down on their couch while he waited for Gerard to finish getting ready.

Gerard pulled on a deep green dress shirt (he figured that it would be cute to match with Frank, even though he knew his partner would find it agonizingly cheesy) and his own dark pair of jeans. He wandered into the bathroom, glancing at the mirror and giving himself the dorky smile that he would shoot to his distant relatives while exchanging extremely uncomfortable pleasantries with them, acknowledging that they were internally disapproving of his relationship with Frank. He brushed his hair, trying to make himself look as appealing as possible, and absentmindedly ran a toothbrush over the yellowing teeth in his parched mouth. He sprayed a bit of cologne onto himself, nose suddenly overwhelmed by the surprisingly sickening combination of the mint from his toothpaste and the clean aroma of his body spray. He stepped out of the bathroom and greeted Frank with a weak grin, signalling for him to come out to the car so they could get going.

Once in the vehicle, there were several painstaking moments of silence until Frank finally blurted out, "Are you nervous?"

"What?" Gerard asked, taking his eyes off the road to glance over at Frank. He had been reciting the words to each of the Star Wars movies in his head, not really paying attention to anything other than that.

"Are you, like... Nervous at all? I feel like you're nervous. Are you embarrassed of me or something?" Frank asked, a panicked undertone occupying his voice as if he'd been dwelling on the topic for a while.

"Hey," Gerard began, resting his hand on his partner's. "I'd never be embarrassed of you. To be honest, I'm more scared of what you're going to think of my family." He let out a quiet chuckle, wondering if Frank was angry at him for something.

Frank sighed lightly and replied, "If you say so." The rest of the ride was spent playing childish car games and singing Christmas songs whenever they came on the radio.

When they arrived at the house of Gerard's parents, Gerard spritzed a bit of binaca into his own mouth and offered some to Frank, but he refused. He knew he'd be eating a lot today and didn't want the minty disgrace to ruin the taste of food for him. They both stepped out of the car and held hands up to the door, Gerard knocking gently once they got there. "Come in, the door's unlocked!" A somewhat high-pitched voice called from inside the home. Gerard sighed as if to prepare himself for what lie beyond the large hunk of wood and turned the metal handle carefully, hesitating before stepping in after the door was open. He looked around and the atmosphere of the place instantly shifted from happy-go-lucky to uncomfortable and cold. He gave a nervous smile and squeaked, "Hey, everyone."

"Who's that?" His aunt had asked after a moment, pointing a bony finger in Frank's direction.  
"Who? Oh oh, this is Frankie!" He answered, sounding a bit too cheery. "Frank, this is my aunt." He guided them together, expecting them to shake hands but the only thing that happened was awkward eye contact and a small "Nice to meet you" from Frank. Sighing, Gerard sat down on the only couch that wasn't occupied, noticing that it was very isolated from the rest of the living room. He clasped his hands together, resting them between his knees and staring down blankly at his feet.

"Hey, there's my boy!" A hoarse voice shouted out from another room, causing Gerard and Frank both to flinch slightly. A large man appeared in the hallway, giving Gerard a hug.

"Hi, dad." Gerard mumbled, caught off guard by the abrupt physical contact.

Gerard's father looked over at Frank and gave him a slightly confused grin. The man probably would've been enthusiastic even if he'd just found out the world was going to end. Frank stuck a hand out to him and cleared his throat before introducing himself.

"I'm Frank." He started. "I'm Gerard's, uh..."

"Best friend, right?" The man cut Frank off before he could finish.

Giving Frank a look that said, "Don't blow our cover", Gerard answered the question before his partner was able to. "Yeah, dad! Best friends, you're totally right."

His father beamed and nodded. He was quite an obliviously happy man, which was relieving at that moment because Gerard wouldn't have known what to do if his father had called him out on his blatant lie. Gerard let out a sigh, relaxing a bit. He wandered off into the kitchen, smiling at his mother as she looked up from her cutting board, seemingly pretty intense over the onion she was dicing. She wiped her head with the back of her forearm, knife still in hand, and gave Gerard a loving embrace.

"How's my baby doing?" She asked, becoming visibly less concerned with the answer when she caught sight of Frank. "Who is... Aw, Gerard!" She began, swatting playfully at Gerard with her hand. "You never told me you have a boyfriend!" She gasped, lowering her voice as she accused him.

"Mom!" Gerard stammered, looking around frantically to see if anyone had been listening. "He's not.. Well... Don't tell Dad okay? He thinks we're just friends and I'd like to keep it that way. You know no one in this family is, like... About that."

His mother gave him a knowing look and nodded. "Your secret's safe with me."

Mikey barged into the room, immediately gravitating toward the refrigerator. "What secret?" He questioned casually, grabbing a carton of milk and chugging until it was nearly empty.

"Gerard's got himself a boyfriend." Their mother chimed, adding extra exaggeration to the word 'boyfriend'.

"That true?" Mikey grinned widely. "Who's the lucky guy?" He asked, speaking much more loudly than had been necessary at that moment.

"You guys!" Gerard waved his hands anxiously and shushed them both, his face practically a wide-eyed rosebush. "It's not even a big deal."

Frank looked mildly disappointed and raised his hand coolly. "I, uh.. I'm the 'lucky guy'" He answered, using his fingers as air quotes around the last words. He forced his hand into Gerard's, quickly realizing that his sarcasm may have caused the others to think he wasn't happy with his relationship. He was already sweating with nervousness, and decided that the solution to this was to give the most disturbing and miserable smile that Mikey and his mother had pretty much ever seen.

A few moments of physically painful silence passed and Mikey finally nodded. "That's cool, man.." He coughed awkwardly.

"So, um.. Oh, I'm Donna!" Mrs. Way announced, shaking her head. "How rude of me to not introduce myself."

"Ah, I'm Frank. It's very nice to m-" His speech was interrupted by Donna hugging him tightly.

Frank looked shocked and Mrs. Way's eyes widened. "Are you..?"

"No, yeah I'm fine, I-"

"I'm sorry, sweetie it's just that Gerard's father and I never really expected him to find love, you know? So it's just really exciting that-"

"Yeah, mhm.. I get you. No worries."

Gerard's face somehow grew an even brighter shade of red as he guided his partner out of the kitchen.

"Alright everyone," Mrs. Way exclaimed from the kitchen. "Dinner is served." The dining room filled up quickly and Gerard found a strange sense of comfort in the quiet chatter of everyone's indistinct conversations. A large turkey was placed carefully in the center of the table along with several bottles of wine, clear glasses, and various holiday foods. Mrs. Way served each person their share and everything was going rather smoothly- until she got to Frank, that is. She dropped a large piece of turkey onto the small man's plate along with several other meats and portions of the rest of the food that had been in big bowls on the table

"Wait, um.." Frank uttered nervously, but figured it was too late since Donna had already moved on to the next person's plate, filling it with the same items.

"What's that?" Mrs. Way asked, pausing in her tracks. "Is there mold on the food again? Oh no.. Donald, I thought I told you-"

"No, no! That's not it at all, Mrs. Way!" Frank's mouth moved rapidly and he shook his head. "It's just that, like... I'm uh.. I'm vegan, see? So I don't um. I can't eat meat or else I'd like.. Be breaking the code of.. Y'know. Veganism."

The silence that followed his words was almost as anxiety-inducing as the eyes that basically stared into the depths of Frank's soul, causing him to squirm in his seat.

"Oh, gosh..." Donna said finally. "Frankie, I'm so sorry, I didn't... Gerard, why wouldn't you tell me something like this?!" She questioned. It was clear that she was trying to remain cool but this wasn't obvious enough to mask the blatant embarrassment and slight anger she was experiencing.

"I'm sorry, Mom, oh God.." Gerard's hands shook as he put them up to his eyes, pushing away the strands of hair that had been stuck to his forehead. "I didn't even think about that, Frank, I'm so sorry... Ah man..."

"It's fine, Gerard." His mother snapped, trying to prevent him from having a full-on panic attack. She picked up the meat from Frank's plate and awkwardly placed it all on Gerard's. She shot him a glare that said, "You're going to eat this all or so help me..."

After everyone had been served their food, Mr. and Mrs. Way proposed a toast to something, although Gerard wasn't really sure what. His mind raced back and forth between hating himself for bringing Frank, hating himself for coming to this stupid party in the first place, and hating himself for having a vegan boyfriend. He raised his glass (which had been filled with sparkling apple cider since Gerard didn't drink), distracted by being on the verge of panicking. Picking at his food slowly but not really eating any of it, he stared into the hallway past the other side of the table and thought up a thousand scenarios of monsters emerging from the shadows, aliens landing their ship on the house, a poltergeist... Anything that would get him out of this shitty, shitty situation. Much to Gerard's dismay, his daydreaming was interrupted by a loud crash.

Frank had tried to scoot out his chair in hopes of feeling less uncomfortable but accidentally knocked his plate onto the white carpets in the process. "Shit!" He hissed, dropping to his knees in an attempt to clean up the mess he'd made. Looking up, it finally struck him what he had said. "Oh, fuck... God damn it.. Shit, oh God.. I'm so sorry, ah fuck... You guys are Catholic, huh? Fuck, I'm so.. Ah, shit- Wait! Um... Darn, yeah! Gosh darn it! Dude, I'm so sorry!"

Gerard sighed, not even bothering to make a big deal out of it. He hopped up and got a wet rag, scrubbing up the food. He shook his head slightly and patted the area with a dry towel. "Frank, can I talk to you for a minute? Outside?"

Frank's eyes grew 3 sizes as he nodded anxiously. "Yeah, okay... Sorry again, everyone... Ah man.." He followed Gerard out the front door, but grew slightly confused and extremely panicked when he saw his partner get into their car. "Dude! You can't just... You can't just leave me here!"

Gerard gave him a mildly disgusted look and sighed, gesturing for Frank to get into the passenger side. They sat there quietly for a few minutes, the only sound being the car's windshield wipers cleaning the glass of the snow that had fallen onto it while the two had been inside having the worst night of their lives.

"I wasn't about to leave you, y'know." Gerard spoke finally. He laughed nervously, trying to lighten the mood.

"You weren't? I probably would have if I were you, like... I don't know man, that was a pretty fucking stupid move I pulled in there. Your family probably, like... Hates me now, like, they're gonna shun me or something."

Gerard laughed harder now. "Honestly, I was hoping something like that would happen just so we could get the fuck out of there. I was actually starting to consider pulling something like in those shitty murder mystery things from like.. The 50s, y'know? I was gonna cut the lights and kill somebody, like.. That's how much I hated being there." He turned the car on and started driving, bitterly flipping off his parents' house through the car's window as he left the driveway.

Frank cackled and nodded. "Me too, dude. Like... No offense, but your family's made up of some of the most pretentious douchebags I've ever met. Like, seriously."

Gerard laughed, looking over at Frank. "Hey," He began.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for putting up with my family's crap for more than like... 5 minutes. I thought you were gonna bail on us when my aunt gave you the cold shoulder after I introduced you two."

Frank turned his head, facing the window and watching the snow fall. He shrugged. "It's cool. They're nothing compared to my family. Which reminds me, my parents wanted us to swing by tomorrow, I hope that's cool with you."

"Wait, like.. No joke?" Gerard asked, his voice sounding like a kid who's just found out their dog ran away.

Frank giggled and shook his head. "No joke, unfortunately."

Gerard sighed, smiling, and pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex. The two strode to their apartment and crawled into bed, watching the snow fall as they discussed who would win in a fight between Bigfoot and Gerard's aunt. 


End file.
